Not Walls. Boundaries. Fluid and Flexible!

Here is the last post in the series that has come from a presentation I created a few months ago!

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​Boundaries

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There is a little tightness in my throat as I write.

I have struggled with boundaries. And some recent learnings have confused the matter a bit more.

And in the past---

I was either open or closed.

Tight in the bud or overflowing tea cup.

YES effusively or NO with a door tightly shut.

I'm learning. Boundaries are fluid. Like a river. They are moving. Sometimes deep and steady flow. Sometimes shivering rivulets are born. They aren't either/or. The same situation on a different day will yield a different answer. Sometimes expressing my boundaries through my feelings, needs, and requests, even if they don't get held the way I would like, is a step.

And---

I took a class with the Last Mask Center in the Spring of 2022 and they shared these as basic language for boundaries:

Yes. No. I changed my mind. Please. Thank you. I am sorry.

I found these six so helpful!

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And---

For this particular boundary exploration we’ll keep it simple using this quote by Annie Lamott:

“NO” is a complete sentence.” ---Annie Lamott

Let that sentence linger with you.

What’s happening in your body? Comfort or Dis or something in between?

What’s your experience of saying No honestly?

When is your No a Yes to?

I often remind myself and my clients that No is often a Yes to something else.

And to give time to exploring what they are saying yes to when they say no, and visa versa can be sooo helpful!

So Yes and No have both in them sometimes. Not either/or, necessarily. Isn't that something to consider!?

​Last but not least---

Here are prompts to explore through writing!

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​What pulls you out of your truth, (yes, no) or conceals it?

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​Write about a time/times when your mind/mouth said yes, and your body said no.

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​Explore how your boundaries have been shaped by; family, society, education, or any other systems. You could start with “I remember”…

​With care,

CAROL​

P.S. feel free to pass this post along to someone it may be helpful for!