What's your thread?
/Recently I was invited to present and facilitate a conversation on wellbeing at a nursing conference this past weekend. (thank you Sara and Randa)
I was super excited about what I was going to offer.
For me creating a presentation is a little like a work of art. I play with it most days, adding a bit of color here, erasing something that isn't quite a fit there. Feeling my way forward.
This particular presentation is a blend of poetry and quotes and prompts and writing, to deepen our relationships to our hearts, our intuition and healthy boundaries. Some of my favorite things!!
And pre-conference time I found that the virus is still not completely out of my body so with sadness I had to bow out. (Not easy for me. Likely not for them either. I am learning more and more about letting go these days and acceptance but I don’t always like it.)
So---
I thought that I’d share slices of the presentation with all of you. So it doesn’t just sit in my body and on my computer!
This poem was the lead in.
The Way It Is
by William Stafford
“There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.”
I’ve loved this poem since the first time I read it, probably 15 years ago.
The metaphor of the thread fits so aptly for me, as it joins in with the world as a web and each living being having a place in it.
If we don’t take our particular place its missed in the web!
And perhaps that’s what’s missing in our world right now?
Threads buried under piles of social norms, capitalism, inequities, othering--- the lions, tigers and bears of our times.
Before you hear a little of my story. Take a moment to read this quote then answer the below questions.
“You are connected to and following the guidance of your inner knowing and not someone else’s idea of who you need to be.”—Lori Eve Declar
This is closer to my definition of wellbeing. It's not about health or being happy all the time, or life being good at every moment. It's about each of us being connected to our inner knowing in a world that is constantly pulling us out.
Photo by Stephane Gagnon on Unsplash
Then----
Pause here.
What’s your thread?
The one that rises from your own inner knowing not someone else’s or the cultures idea of who you are or need to be.
Perhaps the answer flows out of you like an unstoppable fountain. Or stops you in your tracks as your mind goes blank, or you have a sense but can’t quite describe it.
If it’s an unstoppable flow you can stop reading now, If not read on….
I definitely have played lost and found with my thread.
My way back to my thread was a long time coming and came through illness and divorce.
I don’t necessarily recommend that way (smiling here). I didn’t listen to the early signs that the universe was sprinkling and drizzling in subtle ways.
At the same time that my marriage was crumbling and I was super sick, a voice inside me said; “you’ll die if you stay in this relationship”.
That got my attention. And scared me. (yes that was a dramatic voice, and in retrospect I understand it wasn’t about the end of my life, but about me never truly knowing myself.)
So I did.
Letting go of a marriage in the middle of a major health crisis.
Well, not the easiest path.
It was chaotic and sad.
I felt like I’d lost a limb.
And I grieved.
Not only the loss of my husband and marriage, also the particular beauty of our pod of four that we created together, and all the losses I hadn’t grieved because I’d somehow lost my way.
I cried for three years every day. (I know that sounds like a long time, it was. That’s why I remember when it stopped being daily.)
It wasn’t easy. I had a lot of support! (thank you friends!)
I opened to the grief in unexpected ways.
I accepted the tears.
My intuition told me the tears were clearing me out, I could feel my heart healing, widening its field.
All in all, leading me back to my thread.
And I found the clearest messages of my thread, or it found me, through the questions that rained down that August day in 2017 when the fires and smoke were blazing, when the gray murky haze of sky was sending me wispy signals.
And the questions became the Wonder Uprising guidebooks (with the collaboration of Casey!) and more questions came, and more, and they keep coming.
They came like a wave from top to bottom and out my fingers onto the page. Like my hands were dancing with something I couldn’t see. Like those questions had been quietly waiting for the door to open so they could tumble out.
My thread isn’t analytical, or rational. It’s relational. It's being a feeler who thinks. It’s more poetic and super curious. It’s passionate and fiery. It loves deep listening and wonder. It’s about questions more than answers, it's about offering listening spaces to let the questions work some magic. It's sometimes pushy and sometimes squishy. And at other times can be as soft and tender as a billowy white cloud.
And just an aside.
Years ago, in my early 20’s my sister Jean gave me a framed copy of this quote from Rilke that she had written in calligraphy.
"Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer," --Rainer Maria Rilke
Maybe her intuition!
Live the questions. Living into answers. That's me. Live and ask the questions so others can ponder with me!
This week get curious about your thread or notice where it's most alive, where it pulses, where it takes you if you follow it? Notice what gets in its way, or what depletes its vibrancy?
The next post will be a deeper dive about the ways of knowing other than thinking. And why they may be really important in this transformational time!
If you find yourself wanting more direct attention to access, or reconnect with your thread, I’d love to support you. My favorite kind of work! Click HERE to schedule a free consultation.
To our threads weaving a world that works for all!
Carol